Roni's Rant #11 - I was just joking!

Somewhere along the way, being snarky and sarcastic started replacing being kind and polite. These days people greet friends — and even strangers — with wit, snark, and sarcasm as if that’s just normal conversation. What’s worse is the idea that you can say something mean or rude and then magically erase it by tossing on a quick “JK!” — Just kidding! I was only joking!

There’s an old saying that 50% of what people say in jest is actually true — that it’s what they really wanted to say all along. I don’t know if there are real statistics behind that, but let’s be honest… we’ve all heard someone say something hurtful and then immediately try to hide behind “I was just joking.” And we all knew they weren’t.

Sometimes people also use “just joking” as a shield for vulnerability. That’s a little more understandable than using it to be a jerk, but it’s still a way to test the waters without taking responsibility. If people react badly, you can always backpedal. It’s basically the adult version of the childhood classic: “Oops! Take-backs!”

The difference is, as kids that worked. You’d say something dumb, yell “take-backs!” and five minutes later everyone was playing again like nothing happened. As adults, it doesn’t work that way anymore — and honestly, it shouldn’t. We’re not as naive as we were when we were kids. If you didn’t mean it… then why say it? Especially when no one’s laughing except the person who said it — and even that laugh usually sounds awkward.

So why do we still do it? In a world full of amazing technology and endless ways to connect with people, why is it still so common to chase a cheap laugh at someone else’s expense? Sometimes it feels like an attention thing — because even if the comment lands badly, all someone has to do is slap the “just joking” label on it and pretend the problem is everyone else.

And if the person on the receiving end speaks up? Then come the classics:
“You misunderstood my humor.”
“Can’t you take a joke?”
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
Or my personal favorite: the backhanded apology — “I’m sorry you took offense.”

Now, I’m not perfect. I can’t even pretend I’ve never said “just kidding” when I probably wasn’t. But while I can be snarky when I’m telling a story or posting one of these rants, I try not to use it as a weapon just to make someone feel small or get laughs at their expense.

Anyway… that’s Roni’s Rant #11. Hopefully it hits a nerve just enough to make us all think a little more about the things we say — and maybe hold each other accountable too.

And I am NOT kidding. 😛